Barbie Bandits Pleads Guilty!

I was paroosing the news and saw the headline “Barbie Bandit Suspect Pleads Guilty.” Well. I am WAY out of that loop and thought “WOW, Someone is stealing Barbie’s?” As you have seen in previous blogs, I love to poke fun at America’s favorite large breasted kids toy and her BFF gay friend, Ken. So in my head, I imagined some Barbie crazed woman (or man) out on the hunt for more Barbie’s for their lovely oak curio cabinet. Who can resist Oopsy Poopsy Barbie and her dog who apparently eats his poopsy. Or MAC Barbie who, because she wears lipstick, MUST dress like a whore or is this really a Paris Hilton doll under the guise of Barbie because Paris wouldn't give the rights to Mattel to make a doll in her likeness. (longwinded, I know). Does the Barbie Bandit need fashion advice from her? A makeover perhaps? Or, if that is too racy, then there is Elmo Barbie. Does she giggle when you squeeze her? Where can I get THAT outfit. My daughter would think I was SO cool.
Wouldn’t it be great if Barbie Bandit really was a stealer of Barbies rather then a boring old bank robber? And wouldn't it be fun news to read? Oh! Which Barbie did she steal THIS time!