Boys will be boys

RAISING MALE CHILDREN
a) For those with no children - this is totally
hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age,
this is
hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not
funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this
is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, there is
birth control.


The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin,
Texas...
THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY BOYS (and not kidding):


1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
over them with
rollerblades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults
in a crowded
restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman
underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied
to a paint can, to spread
paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling
fan is on. When using
a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up
a few times before you
get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long
way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
oh," it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint
rock even though a
36-year old Man says they can only do it in the
movies.

10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive
tract of a 4-year old boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in
the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
pool you still can't
walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCRs do not eject "P B &J" sandwiches even
though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor
is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
plastic toys do not
like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Tampa, FL has a 5-minute
response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the
Clorox and brake fluid.

25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without children!