Unconditional Parenting

Interesting article posted in the New York Times today about unconditional parenting. After reading it I see that I do often fall into the category of conditional parenting, meaning that my demonstration of love towards them can be measured by whether they are good or bad. when your child behaves well or does well in school I think that alot of us probably praise and maybe pay more attention- whereas when they behave badly and do poorly in school or a sport, our attitude is different. There are some interesting points made in this article, though I find it hard to figure out just HOW to become an unconditional parent. Yes, I will love my kids no matter what but reacting to negative behavior.....well.....what is one to do? Listen to Enya and meditate together to remove the "bad"or "weak" energy???? I do my best to let them know that even when they aren't the best or fall short of their own expectations I still love them. I want them to be secure in who they are. The article says to "explain reasons for requests, maximizing opportunities for the child to participate in making decisions, being encouraging without manipulating, and actively imagining how things look from the child’s point of view." I always try to see it from their point of view and give them an element of control. I just don't understand how one can NOT be conditional about some things sometimes. I am having a hell of a time getting my daughter to do her homework. It's like puling teeth and I end up losing my patience after a while. HOW can this be solved without some kind of balance of some sort? Your teacher will not be happy if, It makes me angry when.....Unconditional parenting? I WISH I was that evolved! Check it out-

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/15/health/15mind.html?emc=eta1
New York Times HEALTH | September 15, 2009
Mind: When a Parent's 'I Love You' Means 'Do as I Say'
By ALFIE KOHN
Evidence is now available about the mainstream thinking on the disciplining of children.

-SBH