Exercising control

I am constantly struggling with the right way to "control" my child and how to nurture her sense of self without imposing my own concept of what I envision her "self" to be. None of us want to be control freaks but it can be tough sometimes, especially when they are screaming that they want to watch TV and you just don't want them to. I often feel like the bad guy but it is up to us to set limits.
Beyond the annoying demands that they make I think it is important to indulge them in the things that they can really benefit from. My daughter loves to dress like a princess or in her lion costume and though sometimes she looks ridiculous and it isn't the most practical thing to wear to the playground, I allow her to do it. How does this benefit her? I feel it encourages her sense of individuality, allows her to make a decision on her own and she also learns consequence when she realizes climbing at the playground is tough in a tutu and lion paws. I haven't controlled her actions and she is happy. I guess this is the best I can do!

From- "The Prophet"

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you, and yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love, but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward, not tarries with yesterday.

- Kahlil Gibran